Crutched Dignity
by R4v3n Kn1ght
Summary: Things get a little exciting for Lucius Malfoy as he was in Flourish & Blotts shopping for Draco's First Year books. What resulted was the real story behind Lucius's infamous cane…


**Author's Note:** I was inspired by a situation that I found myself in once, and how I reacted to the medical staff's arrival. Artemis Arcturus helped with the second part of this one! Thanks, buddy! This is humor, and not to be taken seriously! I do not own Harry Potter, or any recognizable characters, locations, etc. They all belong to JK Rowling.

**Crutched Dignity**

After he'd escorted his lovely wife to Ollivander's wand shop, Lucius Malfoy headed to Flourish & Blott's to do the purchasing of his son's required books for his first year as a Hogwarts student. Nothing of much excitement could possibly happen in Flourish & Blott's.

Quite frankly, Lucius was almost desperate to have a moment of peace while his family was in Diagon Alley. Draco, his son, had been whining ever since he'd received his school requirements list and he noticed that it did not allow first year students to bring their own broom. He'd wanted to bring his own, and had proceeded to beg and beg his father for a Nimbus 2000, the newest and fastest model on the market. Lucius had refused, and that only made Draco whine more. Narcissa had even tried to console the boy, but nothing worked.

And so Lucius had immediately dragged Draco to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occassions and forced him onto a stool to be fitted for his clothing, and ordered Narcissa to wait for the both of them in Ollivander's. Lucius was now determined to spend as much time as possible in Flourish & Blott's book shop.

Apparently the place had fallen into some sort of disarray since he'd last been in the shop, since there were books everywhere! They were piled beyond high, and in precariously balanced towers. 'Probably due to some idiot first years who knocked them all over trying to find the book in the best condition,' thought Lucius. He knew that the books in top condition were always on the bottom of the pile. And nothing but the best would do for his Draco.

He had the list in his hand and he headed towards one of the titles he needed. He scanned the billion titles and finally found the book for which he was looking. After he'd found that, he scanned down the copies of the book to find the best one. No bent corners, no dog-eared pages, no writing on it anywhere. He did this with all of the books on his son's list. It was getting difficult to navigate through the already-crowded-with-books shop, what with all of the families shoved in there. 'Hasn't anyone heard of splitting up to do the shopping?' he growled in his head.

'Was it necessary to bring every living member of the family to buy books for one person?' he thought viciously as a family consisting of five children, both parents, and both sides of grandparents herded past him like pigs to the newly filled trough. Lucius had to scramble out of the way to avoid being trampled.

By the time he was practically dancing to get past people in the bookstore, Lucius had had enough! He'd raised the stack of books in his arms above his head so many times, he felt like he was training for some sort of athletic event. He'd gotten up and down on his toes so much to get by people that he felt that he was practicing his dance steps for the Yule Ball again. He had the right to get to that register! He began pushing his way through the crowd then, wanting to get out of there as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, while in the material sense it was at his disposal, fortune wasn't metaphorically on Lucius Malfoy's side that day. As he was pushing aside a particularly annoying child, his shiny shoe caught a short pile of books. With his long, blonde hair streaming with the motion, Lucius saw the ground coming towards his face at a surprising speed.

X~X~X~X~X

Narcissa had waited with Draco in Ollivander's wand shop for an obscene amount of time. Even Draco was wondering where his father was. He just wanted to get his wand and go home. If he wasn't going to get a broom, he was certainly getting his wand! But his mother said that they had to wait for his father, and that was over a half hour ago.

"Should we start, Mrs. Malfoy?" asked the old man behind the register.

She jerked her head towards the wandmaker. "Not yet, Ollivander! We are waiting for my husband to join us."

Draco looked up at his mother with a pout. "What's taking him so long, mother?"

Narcissa's face softened as she looked at her eleven year old son. "I don't know, sweetie, but he'll be here shortly."

"You said that before," Draco trailed off, his eyes finding the clock in the wand shop. "You said it half an hour ago!" he whined.

"Draco," his mother cooed at him, "you know what your father would say if he heard what you just said."

Draco pursed his lips in annoyance, looking not too unlike Lucius. "He'd say, 'Cease your whining, Draco, else no one would show you the respect your name alone deserves.'"

Narcissa was about to respond when she heard the loud pops of several people apparating at once just outside the door to Ollivander's wand shop. "What is that?" asked the wandmaker, having a clear view of the street. Narcissa and Draco looked out of the display window and realized that there were several employees of St. Mungo's Hospital rushing down the street. "Did something dreadful happen?"

For an unexplainable reason, Narcissa was overwhelmed with worry and fear. She left the wand shop, hissing to her son. "Stay here, Draco." Then, she was gone down the street.

"As if I would," mumbled Draco, and he left the shop shortly after his mother.

X~X~X~X~X

Lucius Malfoy lay on the floor underneath a massive pile of fallen books, the toes of one foot and the tips of some of his long hair the only parts of him visible. He was having difficulty breathing, but he suspected it was due to having been buried under an avalanche of wizarding literature, rather than any medical reason. He struggled to breathe underneath the crippling weight.

He heard, rather than felt, small underage wizards and witches trying to lift the books from him one by one. 'This will take a lifetime,' he moaned in his head. Unfortunately, the moan wasn't only in his head. People in the shop heard it. After everyone realized, "Somehow he's alive!" Lucius heard a fireplace flare up and someone inform the person on the other side of the conversation that there was 'a man who was going to die from too many books!' Lucius thought it was a strange phrasing.

Soon enough, he heard the pounding footsteps of several people. Someone amplified their voice to be heard over the sounds of the underage trying to uncover him. "Everyone back away from the books!" Lucius heard everyone scuffle away. Then, all of a sudden, the books were lifted from him in one movement like he lifted the covers off of his body when he got out of bed.

Then, he was levitated from where he lay underneath the pile. During his floating journey out of harm's way, he saw something he dreaded. A stretcher. Lucius was overcome with a mixture of embarrassment, pride, determination, and fear all at once. He would not seem weak.

"Not the stretcher," he rasped to the St. Mungo's employee who was levitating him towards the stretcher.

"Yes, Mr. Malfoy, the stretcher," said the nurse in a no-nonsense manner.

Lucius drew his wand as subtly as he could, and just managed to break the nurse's levitation spell on him just before she flipped him to lay him on the stretcher. Unfortunately, he was too close to it to avoid hitting his temple on the corner of the stretcher as he fell back to the ground. His mind began to swim, but he held onto one thought.

"Not the stretcher!" he growled, his words coming out slightly slurred due to the impact.

The nurse approached him carefully as though approaching something wounded or dangerous, both of which were Lucius Malfoy. He held his wand unsteadily at her as he lay on the floor, trying to figure out how to get back to his feet. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of blonde hair. He darted his eyes to look in the doorway and saw the figures of his wife and son, who were both staring into the shop with wide, worried eyes.

He was snapped back to the situation he was in when the nurse had the nerve to touch him. His hand shook as he jabbed his wand at her. "No!" he shouted. "I'm going to walk out of here with some dignity!"

"Not today, Mr. Malfoy," said a doctor who seemed to have sneaked behind him.

Lucius whirled around, having to grab onto the stretcher so as not to fall over. "Petrificus Totalus!" he shouted, causing the doctor to go stiff and fall to the floor. Then, as though he felt the attack coming from the other nurse he'd turned away from a moment ago, he whirled again, this time knocking himself off balance and to the ground. "Stupefy!" The nurse…did not advance any more.

Lucius was on the floor again, his wand still clutched in his hand. He saw his wife coming towards him, but he was not going to accept her helping him to his feet. "No, Narcissa!" he hissed at her. She froze. For a moment, he wondered where his son went off to, but he forgot the issue as quickly as he thought of it. He used the stretcher to haul himself back to his feet, his recent bout of magic taking some more of his energy.

"Lucius?"

He glared at his wife. "Dignity, Narcissa. I need to leave this place with my dignity," he whispered harshly at her. He offered his arm to her, and she instantly understood his intent. He wanted it to seem as though he were escorting her out, but with their arms linked properly she would be able to support him as he needed. She linked her arm to his. He put away his wand.

Lucius seemed to escort his wife from the shop, but he was the one being escorted in reality. When they were back on the street in Diagon Alley, he looked at his wife. "Where is Draco? I thought I saw him."

Narcissa smiled coyly. "I sent him to purchase something quickly."

"Oh? And what was that?"

"This, father," said his son's voice from just behind them. Lucius and Narcissa turned awkwardly to face the opposite direction. "Mother said to pick something that would help you but still let you keep your dignity you like so much." He held out the object to his father.

It was an ebony cane with a silver hissing snake head at the top for his hand. It was quite a nice cane. Lucius accepted it and inspected it closely, Narcissa struggling to support him. "I think," Lucius thought aloud, "that I may be able to have it hollowed."

"Why, father?"

Lucius looked at Draco, now smirking despite his soreness. "To fit my wand inside of it. It could be useful. Your wand can never be too close to you, Draco. You never know when you may be attacked, and with your wand already in your hand, you stand a better chance at defending yourself…or attacking someone else. Understand?" Draco nodded.

Lucius smiled without revealing his teeth. It was a satisfied, scheming smile. He took the cane and touched it to the ground. He tested his weight on it, and was surprised that it not only did the job for which it was designed, but the decorative snake topper was actually more comfortable for his hand than he ever would have thought. 'I could get used to this,' he thought. 'This could be permanent.'

"Father?" asked Draco, hesitantly.

"Yes, Draco?"

Draco shuffled his feet before looking at his father and mother. "Do you think we could get my wand now?"

Lucius nodded slowly, aristocratically, while Narcissa tenderly smiled at Draco. "Of course," he said. Lucius looked at his wife, "Narcissa, come along."

Narcissa's arm remained linked in her husband's as the family made their way towards Ollivander's wand shop, with Draco following just behind them. Despite the slight limp in Lucius's stride, and despite his heavily leaning on a cane, there was no mistaking the stubborn pride in him, nor the determination to adhere to his dignity at all times.

If he could live through torture by the Dark Lord, he could certainly muster up the strength to handle being nearly crushed by a mountain of books! And if there was one thing Lucius Malfoy treasured about himself it was his dignity.

_Hope everyone enjoyed this story! It is humor and not meant to be taken seriously. Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks for reading! _


End file.
